" A girl can't read that sort of thing without her lipstick. "
I enjoy being different, don't you?
You know how you meet thousands of people, and none of them really mean anything to you. And then you meet one person, and your life is changed. And you step into this society where you spent most of your time chasing after your career, your status and money and it occupies most of your time. Somehow, you realized that someone will always be better looking. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be younger. But they will never be that one person. Because that one person makes you feel complete, will not give up on you and that, truly appreciates who you are.
From “Isn’t It Pretty to Think So”
I’ve never been to New Orleans—a place that has captured my fascination through books and films since childhood. Tomorrow I’m going. A quote from one of my favorite films (A Love Song for Bobby Long):
“Autumn comes slowly in New Orleans. The grass remains a stubborn green, but the heat gives way to a gentle warmth. Winter arrived before we realized the sunlit hours of summer had waned. So now the wine began to outlast the day and that was more than anyone could’ve asked for.”
" No one is perfect. Some days we worry about the little things, we let them get to us until we’re suffocating in a dark abyss. But then there are the better days. Those somedays when you feel like anything can happen, that even the meanest word can’t touch your happiness. I live for those days when I wake up and I know I can survive anything that is thrown at me. Where hope runs through my veins and I believe it. ”
2012. Two decades of my life have gone by too quickly and I wonder if it is time that I should have achieved a level of ‘maturity’. I watch as life unfolds and edging forth to a new era and I remembered that haunting voice inside my head, that voice of a reason, that voice that told me that there’s always time to think, that choices are always there. Went into a coma of self realisation that there are so many facets of maturity though. I wonder if innocence must always be tainted and lost as one approaches adulthood. Maybe this worry about the loss of innocence is proof that I am not all that unblemished by my experiences. Undeniably over the years, my futile attempts to be someone I am not have worn me out so I accepted life and am content. I have come to terms that I’m painfully above average. I am happy in my own skin, happy never being exceptionally clever, exceptionally pretty, or exceptionally popular. However, there are times when you never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun. I often feel like there’s a huge disparity between what you see in a mirror and that there would be a set of negative emotions in a passing phase of every individual’s life. Like the fear of not being enough being or the fear of being judged. Maybe we are all convinced that our problems are so bad when we compare ourselves to others and all there’s left is just a bottle of low self-esteem due to extremely superficial matters. I constantly remind myself the character of a person is not measured by how they react when things are going well, rather how they react in times of difficulty. Whatever your decision, make sure it is well thought out and one you can look yourself in the mirror and live with.
Finally, on growing up: The realisation that no one really cared enough to judge you after all.
It’s extremely cold in Beijing. Flew in with my mum aiming to conquer the Great Wall of China. A good enough reason to escape Singapore’s weather. Food is extremely salty though!
You know, I’d like to think that I’m build for winter. All that layering, knitwear, coats…. Well, we always feel that the grass is greener on the other side. We all want what we can’t have. Don’t we?