" A girl can't read that sort of thing without her lipstick. "
I enjoy being different, don't you?
2012. Two decades of my life have gone by too quickly and I wonder if it is time that I should have achieved a level of ‘maturity’. I watch as life unfolds and edging forth to a new era and I remembered that haunting voice inside my head, that voice of a reason, that voice that told me that there’s always time to think, that choices are always there. Went into a coma of self realisation that there are so many facets of maturity though. I wonder if innocence must always be tainted and lost as one approaches adulthood. Maybe this worry about the loss of innocence is proof that I am not all that unblemished by my experiences. Undeniably over the years, my futile attempts to be someone I am not have worn me out so I accepted life and am content. I have come to terms that I’m painfully above average. I am happy in my own skin, happy never being exceptionally clever, exceptionally pretty, or exceptionally popular. However, there are times when you never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun. I often feel like there’s a huge disparity between what you see in a mirror and that there would be a set of negative emotions in a passing phase of every individual’s life. Like the fear of not being enough being or the fear of being judged. Maybe we are all convinced that our problems are so bad when we compare ourselves to others and all there’s left is just a bottle of low self-esteem due to extremely superficial matters. I constantly remind myself the character of a person is not measured by how they react when things are going well, rather how they react in times of difficulty. Whatever your decision, make sure it is well thought out and one you can look yourself in the mirror and live with.
Finally, on growing up: The realisation that no one really cared enough to judge you after all.
It’s extremely cold in Beijing. Flew in with my mum aiming to conquer the Great Wall of China. A good enough reason to escape Singapore’s weather. Food is extremely salty though!
You know, I’d like to think that I’m build for winter. All that layering, knitwear, coats…. Well, we always feel that the grass is greener on the other side. We all want what we can’t have. Don’t we?
Lately, I have been as lazy as a cat. I will do anything humanly possible to reach the remote without getting up. It became apparent that I’ve caught the lazy bone when I spent a good thirty minutes searching for a well hidden thumb drive lost in a pile of clean laundry I couldn’t be bothered to fold. So on the first Saturday of the month, I stopped digressing, started sorting, packing, and organizing. I feel proud of myself although well yea, it’s nothing close to a grand achievement. In much eagerness, Month of December, Welcome!
It’s exciting how I’ve just confirmed travel plans for the upcoming month and early next year. I think I am well adapted to the periodical lifestyle of studying and traveling. Aside from the occasional shift work on weekends, life is good!
You and I both know, the dark doesn’t make the bruises disappear.
It just makes them harder to see.
There’s something beautiful about the idea of catching the sun rise on an open field or at the highest peak with someone who means a great deal to you.
Embarking on a twenty something year old journey today. I feel like I’ve became independent throughout the year, I’ve met amazing people and I’m progressively on track in pursuing the lifestyle I seek for. It’s been a fulfilling year. I can’t wait for Christmas next month as well as the upcoming beach party and music festivals. Looking forward!